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David Price

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Goin' where the wind don't blow so strange "Goin' where the wind don't blow so strange; maybe off on some high cold mountain range. Lost one round but the price wasn't anything; a knife in the back and more of the same."

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Wharf Rat

Goin' where the wind don't blow so strange...
Photo 1 of 6
September 25

FW: LOL - I just may do it.

_______________________________

From: Andwew
Sent: Thursday, September 25, 2008 11:23 AM
To: David Price
Subject: LOL - I just may do it.

I HAVE DECIDED TO BECOME A WRITE-IN CANDIDATE.
HERE IS MY PLATFORM:

(1) 'Press 1 for English' is immediately banned. English is the official
language; speak it or wait at the border until you can.

(2) We will immediately go into a two year isolationist posture to
straighten out the country's attitude. NO imports, no exports.
We will use the 'Wal-Mart's policy, 'If we ain't got it, you don't need
it.'

(3) When imports are allowed, there will be a 1 00% import tax on it.

(4) All retired military personnel will be required to man one of our
many observation towers on the southern border. (six month tour) They
will be under strict orders not to fire on SOUTHBOUND aliens.

(5) Social security will immediately return to its original state. If
you didn't put nuttin in, you ain't gettin nuttin out. The president nor
any other politician will not be able to touch it.

(6) Welfare - Checks will be handed out on Fridays at the end of the 40
hour school week and the successful completion of urinalysis and a
passing grade.

(7) Professional Athletes --Steroids - The FIRST time you check positive
you're banned for life.

(8) Crime - We will adopt the Turkish method, the first time you ;
steal, you lose your right hand. There is no more life sentences. If
convicted, you will be put to death by the same method you chose for
your victim; gun, knife, strangulation, etc.

(9) One export will be allowed; Wheat, The world needs to eat. A bushel
of wheat will be the exact price of a barrel of oil.

(10) All foreign aid using American taxpayer money will immediately
cease, and the saved money will pay off the national debt and ultimately
lower taxes. When disasters occur around the world, we'll ask the
American people if they want to donate to a disaster fund, and each
citizen can make the decision whether it's a worthy cause.

(11) The Pledge of Allegiance will be said every day at school and every
day in Congress.

(12) The National Anthem will be played at all appropriate ceremonies,
sporting events, outings, etc.

Sorry if I stepped on anyone's toes but a vote for me will get you
better than what you have, and better than what you're gonna get.
Thanks for listening, and remember to write in my name on the ballot in
November.
God Bless America !!!!!!!!!!!
Bill Cosby!!!!!!!!






August 22

If thee official Microsoft Word Spell-Check default dictionary does knot bee leave inn ewe, then ewe ain't SQUAT, JACK... (RE: FW: 2 moons on Aug. 27th)

Snopes is one big bummer and he/it/they can kiss my big (whelp, butt
knot sew BIG now that eye yam two bee gonna dwindle like Grindel) bones
broken into pieces, big raw, red, rosy rotten, smelly, decrepit,
necrotic, enflamed, roid-ridden, pimplified ass of an arse...
They/he/it/are won big degenerate fun stealing, buzz-kill, bun burning,
biscuit burping, rotten, nasty, defiant, Nazi-like, mold in the crack,
slime on the back, two evil two smoke crack, repulsive gradually
deteriorating with STD, genitalia decomposing with death virus smelling,
putrefied, vilified disease ridden, call the CDC before the Zombies get
hear or get near with brain eating gear, eyeballs four appetizers no
fear, pused-up (pus = yellowish liquid produced by infection: the
yellowish or greenish fluid that forms at sites of infection, consisting
of dead white blood cells, dead tissue, bacteria, and blood serum)
pimple squishing slime bile down the biohazard us, cantankerous, never
thank us, please spank us, hey don't yank us, scabies itching, unwashed
twitching, bed-bug infested, lice digested, parasitic head lice
suggested, pubic cootie-crab nested, awl that is bad with evil
congested, pedophile pimps awl big hairy chested.... and worse than the
worst, from prison detested! (Wash, Rinse, Repeat) This wheel sum watt
awl lude to what a big bummer Snopes is... No fun at all, antithetical
to fun, phun or phfun and knot at awl fun, funny, whimsical,
light-hearted...
Spell-checker can't even spell Snopes or at least doesn't even believe
inn Snopes and of course, and ewe Canne take this two thee bank and
debacle, ewe Know, period... (or dot as they say these days). If thee
official Microsoft Word Spell-Check default dictionary does knot bee
leave inn ewe, then ewe ain't SQUAT, JACK...




________________________________

From: Cameron Thorne [mailto:cameronthorne@gmail.com]
Sent: Friday, August 22, 2008 3:01 PM
To: Andrew CCM
Cc: Price, David L. (Prof II&RS); Kevin Jairaj; Kevin Curtis
Subject: Re: FW: 2 moons on Aug. 27th


Urban Legend

http://www.snopes.com/science/mars.asp


On Fri, Aug 22, 2008 at 2:32 PM, Andrew CCM
<andrew@crystalclearmedia.com> wrote:


Potentially an interesting photo op.

Andrew



Subject: 2 moons on Aug. 27th







Two moons on 27 August 2008*
*27th Aug this year is the Whole World is waiting for..........*

Planet Mars will be the brightest in the night sky starting
August.

It will look as large as the full moon to the naked eye. This
will
cultivate on Aug. 27 w hen Mars comes within 34.65M miles off
earth.. Be
sure
to watch the sky on Aug. 27 12:30 am . It will look like the
earth has 2
moons. The next time Mars may come this close is in 2287.

Share this with your friends as NO ONE ALIVE TODAY will ever see
it
again.


------ End of Forwarded Message





August 21

RE: Websense Issue & What's Up 12 Pro Upgrade

"...completed shortly? "

Who you callin' SHORTY? You bettor watch it Bub oar eye weal* go
Napoleon own ewe butt an knot Dynamite either, dewed** ... Eye mien***
Bone Apart! a.k.a. Bonaparte!****

Appendix

* (weal = reddened area on skin from blow: a raised or reddened area on
the skin, caused by being hit with something <OR> itchy swelling on
skin: a short-lived raised area on the skin, often red and itchy,
caused by something such as a nettle or insect sting or by exposure to
an allergen <OR> state of wellbeing: a general state of wellbeing,
prosperity, and happiness)

** (dewed = Dew {Military}, a distant early warning: being in the state
of having been given a distant early warning)

*** (mien = somebody's general air: somebody's facial expression or
general appearance, bearing, or posture, taken as an indication of his
or her mood or character, ewe know)

**** (Bone Apart a.k.a. Bonaparte = Napoleon Bonaparte: ass inn Eye
Moan Tear Ewe Bones Apart, dewed!)



________________________________

From: Dieb, Andrew (TR MIS)
Sent: Thursday, August 21, 2008 3:49 PM
To: All Infrastructure Group
Cc: Schlumbohm, Mike (TR MIS)
Subject: Websense Issue & What's Up 12 Pro Upgrade


Just wanted to make you guys aware of a couple of things.

1st - Websense EIM manager has been giving application errors and upon
contacting Tech Support, the site shows that our license is expired.
This is incorrect. The application still shows the correct date of May
17, 2009 for expiry. I have a call into them for help.

2nd - We received our license key for IPSWITCH What's up Gold Ver 12. I
am in the process of doing the upgrade from V11 right now. I have the
app upgraded but am working on the SQL database Schema reconfig right
now. Hope to have it completed shortly.

Thanks!


* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
* * *

Andrew P. Dieb
Manager, Information Security (IT Risk Management)
Thomson Reuters

Office: 817.252.4480

andrew.dieb@thomsonreuters.com
www.thomsonreuters.com



RE: Invoice printing

Why when their from New York dew "they" think "they" have two halve such
fun knee, whoops oar hoops, know knot funny, fun knee hah, hah; butt fun
knee, funny weird, weird last names?

Ewe no, know?


_____

From: Patterson, Daniel (Prof II&RS)
Sent: Thursday, August 21, 2008 2:40 PM
To: Price, David L. (TOC TGTI)
Subject: FW: Invoice printing



Here ya go David. Thanks!



_____

From: Gesualdi, Richard (TTA R&G)
Sent: Thursday, August 21, 2008 1:42 PM
To: Patterson, Daniel (Prof II&RS)
Subject: Invoice printing



Daniel:



I ran the Invoice extract again for 0 to 60 days but it hung after about
45 to 60 minutes.

I tried it again using the dates of 8/19 to 10/18 but it gave me the
error below.

The job continued and ended but only pulled 3 including the header and
trailer page.



I'll try it again.

Rich







April 13

Eeerrrtttyyy

Eeerrrtttyyy



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
««««ººº Sent by BlackBerry® ººº»»»»
April 08

Buenos Noches, El Mundo de la Informática/del Teatro - Que Coloquial Sensacional - Ala Los Muertos

Buenos Noches, El Mundo de la Informática/del Teatro - Que Coloquial Sensacional -  Ala Los Muertos:

US preacher finds demon-possessed PCs
10 March 2000

The Register - Forget about viruses and malicious hackers; the real threat these days is far more insidious. Your home computer may be host to a demon, and you and your family may well come under its malevolent control, the Weekly World News reports.

 

"While the Computer Age has ushered in many advances, it has also opened yet another door through which Lucifer and his minions can enter and corrupt men's souls," the paper quotes the Reverend Jim Peasboro, author of an upcoming book, The Devil in the Machine, as saying.

 

Demons are able to possess anything with a brain, from a chicken to a human being. And today's thinking machines have enough space on their hard drives to accommodate Satan or his pals, the paper reports.

 

Disk capacity is an issue, however. Only a PC built after 1985 has the storage capacity to house an evil spirit, the minister explained.

 

The Georgia clergyman says he became aware of the problem from counseling churchgoers. "I learned that many members of my congregation became in touch with a dark force whenever they used their computers," he said. "Decent, happily married family men were drawn irresistibly to pornographic Web sites and forced to witness unspeakable abominations.

 

"Housewives who had never expressed an impure thought were entering Internet chat rooms and found themselves spewing foul, debasing language they would never use normally," he declared.

 

"One woman wept as she confessed to me, 'I feel when I'm on the computer as if someone else or something else just takes over.'"

 

The minister said he probed one such case, actually logging onto the parishioner's computer himself. To his horror, an artificial-intelligence program started spontaneously.

 

"The program began talking directly to me, openly mocked me," he recalls. "It typed out, 'Preacher, you are a weakling and your God is a damn liar.'"

 

Then the device went haywire and started printing out what looked like gobbledygook.

 

"I later had an expert in dead languages examine the text," the minister said. "It turned out to be a stream of obscenities written in a 2,800-year-old Mesopotamian dialect!"

 

The minister estimates that one in ten computers in America now hosts some type of evil spirit.

 

The Reverend advises anyone suspecting that their computer is possessed to consult a clergyman, or, if the computer is still under warranty, to take it in for servicing.

 

"Technicians can replace the hard drive and reinstall the software, getting rid of the wicked spirit permanently," he says.

 

Copyright © 2000, The Register




 

March 11

A young man learns what is important

A young man learns what is most important in life from the guy next
door...



It had been some time since Jack had seen the old man. College, girls,
career, and life itself got in the way. In fact, Jack moved clear across
the country in pursuit of his dreams. There, in the rush of his busy
life, Jack had little time to think about the past and often no time to
spend with his wife and son. He was working on his future, and nothing
could stop him.

Over the phone, his mother told him, "Mr. Barber died last night. The
funeral is Wednesday." Memories flashed through his mind like an old
newsreel as he sat quietly remembering his childhood days.

"Jack, did you hear me?"

"Oh, sorry, Mom. Yes, I heard you. It has been so long since I thought
of him. I'm sorry, but I honestly thought he died years ago," Jack said.



"Well, he didn't forget you. Every time I saw him, he would ask how you
were doing. He would reminisce about the many days you spent over 'his
side of the fence' as he put it," Mom told him.



"I loved that old house he lived in," Jack said.

"You know, Jack, after your father died, Mr. Barber stepped in to make
sure you had a man's influence in your life," she said

"He's the one who taught me carpentry," he said. "I wouldn't be in this
business if it weren't for him. He spent a lot of time teaching me
things he thought were important...Mom, I'll be there for the funeral,"
Jack said.

As busy as he was, he kept his word. Jack caught the next flight to his
hometown. Mr. Barber's funeral was small and uneventful. He had no
children of his own, and most of his relatives had passed away.

The night before he had to return home, Jack and his Mom stopped by to
see the old house next door one more time.

Standing in the doorway, Jack paused for a moment. It was like crossing
over into another dimension, a leap through space and time. The house
was exactly as he remembered. Every step held memories. Every picture,
every piece of furniture... Jack stopped suddenly.

"What's wrong, Jack?" his Mom asked.

"The box is gone," he said.

"What box?" Mom asked.
"There was a small gold box that he kept locked on top of his desk. I
must have asked him a thousand times what was inside. All he would ever
tell me was 'the thing I value most,'" Jack said.

It was gone. Everything about the house was exactly how Jack remembered
it, except for the box. He figured someone from the Barber family had
taken it.

"Now I'll never know what was so valuable to him," Jack said. "I better
get some sleep. I have an early flight home, Mom."


It had been about two weeks since Mr. Barber died. Returning home from
work one day, Jack discovered a note in his mailbox. "Signature required
on a package. No one at home. Please stop by the main post office within
the next three days," the note read.


Early the next day Jack retrieved the package. The small box was old and
looked like it had been mailed a hundred years ago. The handwriting was
difficult to read, but the return address caught his attention. "Mr.
Harold Barber" it read. Jack took the box out to his car and ripped open
the package. There inside was the gold box and an envelope. Jack's hands
shook as he read the note inside.

"Upon my death, please forward this box and its contents to Jack
Bennett. It's the thing I valued most in my life." A small key was taped
to the letter. His heart racing, as tears filling his eyes, Jack
carefully unlocked the box. There inside he found a beautiful gold
pocket watch.

Running his fingers slowly over the finely etched casing, he unlatched
the cover. Inside he found these words engraved...

"Jack - thanks for your time! -Harold Barber"

"The thing he valued most was...my time!"

Jack held the watch for a few minutes, then called his office and
cleared his appointments for the next two days. "Why?" Janet, his
assistant asked.

"I need some time to spend with my son," he said.


"Oh, by the way, Janet - thanks for your time!"

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the
moments that take our breath away,"

Think about this. You may not realize it, but it is 100% true:

* At least 2 people in this world love you so much they would die
for you.
At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.
A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they do
not like you.
Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.
You mean the world to someone.
If not for you, someone may not be living.
You are special and unique.
When you think you have no chance of getting what you want, you
probably will not get it. However, if you trust God to do what is best,
and wait on His time , sooner or later, you will get it or something
better.
When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good can still
come from it.
When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a
look: you most likely turned your back on the world.
Someone that you do not even know exists loves you.
Always, remember the compliments you received. Forget about the
rude remarks.
Always tell someone how you feel about them; you will feel much
better when they know and you will both be happy.
If you have a great friend, take the time to let them know that
they are great.
Send this letter to all the people you care about, if you do so,
you will certainly brighten someone's day and might change their
perspective on life...for the better!



To everyone I send this to:

"Thank you for your time!"









July 30

BRAIN CRAMPS



BRAIN CRAMPS



(On September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather Whitestone was selected as
Miss America 1995.)
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?


Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever,
because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever,
but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,"
--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.


``````````````````````````````````

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the
world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but
not with all those flies and death and stuff."
--Mariah Carey




````````````

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of
your life,"
--Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal
anti-smoking campaign .




`````````````````````````````````````````````````



"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,"
--Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.




`````````````````````````````````````````````



"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates
in the country,"
--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.


`````````````````````````````



"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are
the president."
--Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.


````````````````````````````````````````````````````

"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and
I'm just the one to do it,"
--A congressional candidate in Texas.


````````````````````````````

"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
--Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark


``````````````````````````````````

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities
in our air and water that are doing it."
--Al Gore, Vice President





```````````````````



"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix.."
--Dan Quayle




``````````



"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"
--Lee Iacocca




```````````



"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like
Norman Einstein."

--Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.




````````````````````````````````````````````



"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of
people."
--Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instrutor




`````````````````````````````````



"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
--Bill Clinton, President






``````````````````


"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
--Al Gore, VP




````````````````



"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."
--Keppel Enderbery


````````````````

"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we
received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply
if there is a change in your circumstances."
--Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina


````````````````````````````````````````````



"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as
they go to bed and it will monitor their
heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up
dead, there'll be a record."
--Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,







<http://www.incredimail.com/index.asp?id=102287>

December 12

Does anyone happen to have the video cable ... ?

From: Wharf Rat
Sent: Tuesday, December 12, 2006 5:31 PM
To: Everyone
Subject: Does anyone happen to have the video cable ... ?



"It was Moby Dick that dismasted me; Moby Dick that brought me to this
dead stump I stand on now...it was that accursed white whale that razed
. . . . me and I'll chase him around Good Hope, and round the Horn, and
round the Norway Maelstrom, and round perdition's flames before I give
him up." --Captain Ahab in Herman Melville, Moby Dick


________________________________

Arrgh Matey!!! Ahab beacons...

________________________________

"Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean everyone's not out to get
you." --Henry Kissinger
________________________________

Stop. Ten four. Roger Wilco. Over and out. That is all. Over.
________________________________

- This e-mail message is real but has no physical object - it is
composed of a curious assembly of digitized electrons swirling in a
vacuum in inner space, or something like that. If you are not the
intended recipient of this electronically transmitted communication the
sender denies any responsibility for personal loss including but not
limited to spontaneous human combustion, corporeal implosion, full or
partial loss of sanity or emotional stability, temporal disturbances,
financial losses, out of body experiences and any other reactions, chain
reactions or consequences. In the case of monetary or financial gain
associated or disassociated with the receipt of this message then the
sender reserves the right to claim that income and any and all other
assets as their own legal personal property and you will be awarded a
one percent finders fee which will only cover half of the two percent
processing fee for which can be waived upon the immediate and timely
dispersal of funds to the sender and which of course will be at the
senders sole discretion and judgment. - (Copyright (c) 2006 David L.
Price)


Warning... the universe will once again be thrown into disorderly
confusion next upcoming Monday.

Whewwww! Thanks! The natural alliance of the universe has returned to
normal and order has been restored to the Galaxy.

You scared me. Don't ever do that again...

I have returned!

Hey, get back hewe you wascally wabbit...
May 26

Right on, Andy Rooney!

Andy Rooney said on "60 Minutes"


I don't think being a minority makes you a victim of anything except
numbers. The only things I can think of that are truly discriminatory
are things like the United Negro College Fund, Jet Magazine, Black
Entertainment Television, and Miss Black America. Try to have things
like the United Caucasian College Fund, Cloud Magazine, White
Entertainment Television, or Miss White America; and see what
happens...Jesse Jackson will be knocking down your door.

Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer. You
can kill someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to
ban you from driving to the ball game.



I believe they are called the Boy Scouts for a reason. That is why
there are no girls allowed. Girls belong in the Girl Scouts! ARE YOU
LISTENING MARTHA BURKE?



I think that if you feel homosexuality is wrong, it is not a phobia, it
is an opinion.


I have the right "NOT" to be tolerant of others because they are
different, weird, or tick me off.



When 70% of the people who get arrested are black, in cities where 70%
of the population is black, that is not racial profiling; it is the Law
of Probability.



I believe that if you are selling me a milkshake, a pack of cigarettes,
a newspaper or a hotel room, you must do it in English! As a matter of
fact, if you want to be an American citizen, you should have to speak
English!



My father and grandfather didn't die in vain so you can leave the
countries you were born in to come over and disrespect ours.



I think the police should have every right to shoot your sorry ass if
you threaten them after they tell you to stop. If you can't understand
the word "freeze" or "stop" in English, see the above lines.



I don't think just because you were not born in this country, you are
qualified for any special loan programs, government sponsored bank loans
or tax breaks, etc., so you can open a hotel, coffee shop, trinket
store, or any other business.



We did not go to the aid of certain foreign countries and risk our lives
in wars to defend their freedoms, so that decades later they could come
over here and tell us our constitution is a living document; and open to
their interpretations.



I don't hate the rich I don't pity the poor.



I know pro wrestling is fake, but so are movies and television. That
doesn't stop you from watching them.



I think Bill Gates has every right to keep every penny he made and
continue to make more. If it ticks you off, go and invent the next
operating system that's better, and put your name on the building.



It doesn't take a whole village to raise a child right, but it does take
a parent to stand up to the kid; and smack their little behinds when
necessary, and say "NO!"



I think tattoos and piercing are fine if you want them, but please don't
pretend they are a political statement. And, please, stay home until
that new lip ring heals. I don't want to look at your ugly infected
mouth as you serve me French fries!



I am sick of "Political Correctness." I know a lot of black people, and
not a single one of them was born in Africa; so how can they be
"African-Americans"? Besides, Africa is a continent. I don't go around
saying I am a European-American because my great, great, great, great,
great, great grandfather was from Europe. I am proud to be from America
and nowhere else!



And if you don't like my point of view, tough...



I PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE TO THE FLAG, OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, AND TO
THE REPUBLIC, FOR WHICH IT STANDS, ONE NATION UNDER GOD, INDIVISIBLE,
WITH LIBERTY AND JUSTICE FOR ALL!



I was asked to send this on if I agree or delete if I don't. It is said
that 86% of Americans believe in God. Therefore I have a very hard time
understanding why there is such a problem in having "In God We Trust" on
our money and having "God" in the Pledge of Allegiance. Why don't we
just tell the 14% to Shut Up and BE QUIET!!!



If you agree, pass this on, if not delete.





May 18

Behold the Awesome Power of Chuck Norris!

 

  • Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.
  • Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
  • Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
  • The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
  • If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.
  • Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.
  • Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing. 
  • Chuck Norris' blood type is AK+. A$$-Kicking Positive. It is compatible only with heavy construction equipment, tanks, and fighter jets.
  • Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate an Indian.
  •  In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.  There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
  • Additional Chuck Norris Facts - Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
  • Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the hell down.
  • Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.
  • The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out.  It failed miserably.
  • Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
  • Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72... and they're all poisonous.
  • If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
  • Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
  • When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.
  • The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.
  • Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices. But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.
  • CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.
  • Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
  • There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
  • Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
  • What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.
  • Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
  • Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.
  • Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
  • Chuck Norris doesn't wash his clothes, he disembowels them.
  • A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
  • Chuck Norris will attain statehood in 2009. His state flower will be the Magnolia.
  • Someone once videotaped Chuck Norris getting pissed off. It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Massacre.
  • If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
  • Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
  • Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Chuck Norris once and he will kick the crap out of you.
  • The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodge-ball Chuck Norris played in second grade.
  • Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
  • Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publicly claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.
  • Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.
  • Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
  • Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
  • Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
  • Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
  • Faster than a speeding bullet ... more powerful than a locomotive ... able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... yes, these are some of Chuck Norris's warm-up exercises.
  • Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
  • In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.
  • Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA.  Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Crap was That?"
  • Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
  • Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one.  When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.
  • Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.
  • The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.
  • In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
  • Chuck Without Toupee or Beard or Make-up
  • Chuck Without Toupee or Beard or Make-up
  •  Chuck With Beard
  • Chuck With Beard 
  • Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
  • The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
  • Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
  • Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
  • While shooting Walker Texas Ranger chuck brings a still born calf back to life with a beard rub. Shortly after this a crowd gathered and Chuck roundhouse kicked the calf breaking its neck. Reminding the crew that The Chuck giveth and the Chuck taketh away!!
  • A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
  • When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
  • Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate an Indian.
  • Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
  • When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
  • There's no such thing as a tornado. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.
  • Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
  • Chuck Norris challenged a statue to a staring contest. Chuck remains undefeated.
  • Heart disease may be the new leading cause of death in women age 45 to 65, but Chuck Norris is still the leading cause of death in men age 0 to 125.
  • There is nothing to fear but fear itself, and fear itself fears Chuck Norris.
  • Chuck Norris always has sex on the first date. Always.
  • If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the hell down.
  • According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
  • Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
  • Wilt Chamberlin claims to of slept with over 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday."
  • As a teen Chuck Norris impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.
  • Once a grizzly bear threatened to eat Chuck Norris. Chuck showed the bear his fist and the bear proceeded to eat himself, because it would be the less painful way to die.
  • When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay: "What is Courage?" Chuck Norris received an "A+" for writing only the words "Chuck Norris" and promptly turning in the paper.
  • A recent poll discovered 93% of women think about Chuck Norris during sex. A similar poll discovered Chuck Norris thinks about Chuck Norris 100% of the time during sex.
  • Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
  • Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
  • If at the exact same moment, the same person was pitied by Mr. T and roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris, the universe would implode.  - John Wayne could find a way to hold it together.  - …with the help of Bruce Lee.
  •  Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
  • A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles". Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.
  • Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.
  • Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
  • The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck Norris--more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise," and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.
  • Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.
  • Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
  • When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.
  • Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "booya".
  • Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with five times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilizer. This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.
  • Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
  • When Chuck Norris's wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck said, "Don't worry about it honey," and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question Chuck Norris."
  • Chuck Norris took my virginity, and he will sure as hell take yours. If you're thinking to yourself, "That's impossible, I already lost my virginity.", then you are dead wrong.
  • Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
  • Chuck Norris once tried to sue Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr., insisting that that actually is "his" way.
 
May 04

Issues with Madness


Don't you worry - the madness will never stop. It will rest, refresh,
regroup, and return in the guise of another completely different form
and with another unknown face. It diabolically moves from system to
system, site to site and person to person with intentions of great
malice, loss of productivity and hopeless futility. It is ever present,
just beneath the surface, maliciously waiting and lurking in quiet
repose for the appropriate time to once again rear its ever changing and
always ugly little face in a new and unknowing host and in a new and
unique situation where it can most effectively ambush with great stealth
and devious surprise, attempting to remain unseen and undetected for as
long as it possibly can while it sows new seeds of confusion, alarm and
retribution until its roots are firmly established and its hooks are
firmly set. Beware the madness - madness like Ahab, beckons.

________________________________

January 20

Who did what to who?

History - Have a history teacher explain this ---- If they can:


 Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
 John F Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.

 Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
 John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.

 The names Lincoln and Kennedy each contain seven letters.
 Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
 Both wives lost a child while living in the White House.
 Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
 Both Presidents were shot in the head.

 Lincoln's secretary was named Kennedy.
 Kennedy's secretary was named Lincoln.

 Both were assassinated by Southerners.
 Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.
 Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.
 Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.
 John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839.
 Lee Harvey Oswald, who  assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.

 Both assassins were known by their three names.
 Both names are composed of fifteen letters.

 Lincoln was shot at the theater named 'Ford.'
 Kennedy was shot in a car called 'Lincoln.'

 Booth ran from the theater and was caught in a warehouse.
 Oswald ran from a warehouse and was caught in a theater.
 Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.

 And here's the kicker.
 A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland.
 A week before Kennedy was shot, he was in Marilyn Monroe.

                                                                                                               

 

 

January 16

PROJECT 1947 AIRCRAFT UFO ENCOUNTERS SUMMARIES FROM PROJECT 1947 RESEARCH

PROJECT 1947 AIRCRAFT UFO ENCOUNTERS SUMMARIESFROM PROJECT 1947 RESEARCH
By Jan Aldrich ACUFOE UPDATES (as of 9 October 1999), Version 2
(Use with Dominique Weinstein's November 1997 Catalogue or later.)
N=New Case not in November 1997 ACUFOE Catalogue
D=New details for cases already in the ACUFOE Catalogue
#=New reference for a case in ACUFOE Catalogue
NLT=No Later Than
*=Version 2, additional cases or cases with new information after Dominique Weinstein's 1999 catalogue.

Manner of presentation: These summaries were prepared for Dominique Weinstein who has many of the primary documents, therefore the summaries are very short. Generally each item has the date, time, location, what type of aircraft and witnesses were involved, if known, then a brief description and finally the sources. This list is meant to be used with one of Weinstein's published catalogues. Some entries on this list only update Weinstein with news references that he did not previously have.

ACUFOE Prior to 1942
N - 1916.01.31, 2025 hours, England, Near Romford, Essex.

RAF fighter patrolling for Zepplins saw a light to the north. He tried to close for 20 minutes but his engine was malfunctioning and would not do more than 50 mph. Light was lost in the clouds. (UFO Brigantia #25, Mar-Apr 87 (PRO Air 1/611/16/15/288) (First UFO seen from the air))


N -1936.10.10, about 0415 local, near Cape Talamonore.

Italian military Idro S.62 Bis, pilot in a four plane formation flying at 3,500 meters, sighted a light at a higher level that at first was mistaken for another plane in the formation. Tried to pursue. The object appeared to shot short flames from the center. Could not make out shape as object's light was blinding. Appeared to be twice the diameter of the moon and flew north. (Flying Saucer Review Vol 1, #3, page 5, taken from reports to CIRNOS, Fiumetto, Italy)

ACUFOE in World War II
N - 1943   Changed entry from N - 1945:

(An interview with Dr. Haines clarifies that this incident had to take place in 1943),
Night, Atlantic, between USA and England,
US Navy PB-2Y5, pilot and 8 crewmen, Single lighted red orange object flew formation off the wing of the aircraft. Pilot repositioned the aircraft several time. Each time the object matched the maneuver. UFO took off ahead of the aircraft and vanished from sight in 30 seconds. (Report to Paul Cerny and interview with Dr. Richard Haines)

N - 1943.03-04 - night, Tunisia,

Hurricane, 73d RAF Squadron (Night Fighter) pilot encounter unusual light as did other squadron members. (Letter to RNZAF in Air Department File 39/3/3.NS Vol. 1, Reports: Flying Saucers (Nov 1952-Dec 1955), at Defense House, Wellington, New Zealand.)


N - 1943.05-07 - night, Tunisia,

Hurricane, 73rd RAF Squadron (Night Fighter) pilot encounter bright light nickname "The Light" or "The Thing" other pilots also encounter the object many times.(Letter and Report Form, Andy Roberts' Collection)

N - 1943.06.25 - Elbe Estuary, Germany.

1st Air Division, "12 flat objects, six feet square, fell like leaves." No explosions noted. (Data on Unusual Objects & Missiles Encountered on Missions, 8th Air Force files, Feb-May 1945.)

*N - 1943 Late - Bremen, Germany

Many reports of "silver and red discs above the formations". (115 RAF Squadron newsletter, issue no. 1, dated Dec 31, 1943). See report below which may be related.

N - 1943.11.26 - Bremen, Germany

"Rings of flame 2 or 3 feet in diameter, green, corkscrewed thru formation, as (if) floating." (Data on Unusual Objects & Missiles Encountered on Missions, 8th Air Force files, Feb-May 1945.)


*N - 1943.12.11 - Emlen (Emden?) Germany

American formations saw a fast moving unidentified object as large as a Thunderbolt flying under the formation leaving a long lasting vapor trail. (115 RAF Squadron newsletter, issue no. 1, dated Dec 31, 1943, Andy Robert's research at PRO.)

N - 1943.12.14, night. Italy

On night patrol to Naples, Beaufighter 255th RAF Squadron (Night Fighter), "dogfights" with "The Light" a bright light which out climbed aircraft. (Letter, Report Form, Logbook extract, Andy Roberts' Collection)

N - 1944 - Night, South Atlantic

Military transport, 4 pilots, 2 bight lights came toward the plane, separated and went around the plane, then they turned and flew along side the aircraft for four or five minutes. (Alexandria, LA, TOWN TALK 20 April 1980.)

N - 1944.04.30, between 2100-2200 hours, Night, Italy, near Anzio

Beaufighter, RAF 600 Squadron, pilot and radar officer saw a orange red glow following the aircraft. No radar contact. All evasive maneuvers, even going into a clouds did not stop the object from pursuing them. Finally, a dive into a cloud bank lost the object.(Letter [data from logbook]. Andy Roberts' collection)

N - 1944.06. - 1100 hours, Adriatic Sea, just northeast of Bari

3 P-38s of the 1st Fighter Group at 33,000 feet saw a round silver disc above them at about 50,000 feet. It dropped to about 40,000 feet and stayed with the formation for 3 minutes, then sped north out of sight. (Report form, Center for UFO Studies, (CUFOS))

N - 1944.06. (2nd, 5th, or 8th unsure of exact date),

About 0000 hours, Italy, southwest Florence over the Florence/Rome road, Beaufighter Mk X saw a bright red light that followed them for about 5-10 minutes. Evasive action did not work. (Letters and report forms, Andy Roberts, Collection)

D - 1944.08.10

The Records of the 792d Bombardment Squadron's history confirms that Lt.Reidas was indeed on the mission described by him on this date. There are no details about the mission or bombing results. (792d Bomb Sq History)

*N - 1944.08.10 - Night, Japan

B-29, 40th Bombardment Group, two aircraft crews reported seeing a green flare followed by an amber-orange flash horizontally across the nose of the aircraft. (There were no fighters, or searchlights on this mission and flak was meager. 40th Bomb Sq History)

N - 1944.10.18 - Day, Alfonsine

"Also on 18 October, a shower of silver objects about the size of silver dolllars was reported in the vincinty of Alfonsine. These objects were seen floating at 10,500 feet and descending slowly." HQ, 42d Bomb Wing, A-2 (Sep-Oct 1944 Special Flak Report) ("Windows?")

N - 1944.10.30 - 2125 hours, Germany.

Leaving Cologne, Halifax III, 640 RAF Squadron, flight engineer and gunner, saw a ball of fire following the aircraft that was on a heading of 107 degrees. It appeared to be closing. Aircraft took evasive action and the light was lost. A few seconds later an aircraft on port caught fire. (Letter, Andy Roberts' collection)

N - 1944.10.30 - 0145 hours, Munich, Germany,

419th Bomb Squadron, B-17 on a "Lone Wolf" mission. A light blue ball of fire paced aircraft for a time. (The Raven, 301st Bomb Group veteran's publication, August 1994.)

N - NLT1944.11.10 - daylight, Coast of Formosa just west of Okayama at 25,000 feet

B-29(?), black dot seen to hang in the air without movement or explosion. It was smaller than a flak burst, and looked like an object rather than a cloud of smoke. (Weekly Intelligence Summary #11, 10 Nov 44, HQ, Eastern Air Command, South East Asia)

N - 1944.11.22 - 1900-2200 hours, Germany, Coblenz.

422d Night Fighter Squadron (NFS), 4-6 "jets" reported, 3 on line abreast.(9th Tactical Air Command (TAC) Operation Summary (Opsum) #167)

N - 1944.11.22 - About 2200 hours, Norway, WSW of Trondheim.
RAF IX Squadron. Returning from mission Flight officer, engineer and rear gunner saw a clearly defined "pyrotechnic pink" spherical object following plane. Object made violent acceleration and deceleration and swift jerky movements side to side. (Letter, Report Form, Andy Roberts' collection)

N - 1944.11.27-28 - between 2330-0330 hours, Germany, Cologne-Bonn area.

422d NFS, 3 "Jets" seen by patrols. (9th TAC, Opsum #173)

N - 1945.------ ------ Formosa.

Radio operator on a B-24 saw a vertical chain of luminous globes, one following the other in a spiral climb towards the aircraft. They continued to climb out of view. (Stringfield, Inside Saucer Post.....Blue, page 8.)

N - 1945,------ Near the end of the War, Day, Germany,

Fighter Pilot, preparing to land, pilot saw a rectangular light, short base parallel to the ground hanging in the sky. Pilot changed his position to make sure it wasn't some kind of reflection and informed Sq Cdr., who told him to ignore it. (Possibly: Runaway balloon?) (Letter to Project Blue Book ("Life magazine file"))

N - 1945.02.22 - Night, Near Chichi Jima

B-24 #501, 98th Bomb Group, "2 exhausts" seen, indication on SCR 717C radar. Followed for 20 miles and disappeared. (Letter to Project Blue Book (Life magazine file, from diary entry.)

N - 1945.03.--- After Midnight, Northeast Italy west of Trieste

RAF Boston Bomber, 55 Squadron, 232 Wing, Pilot and 2 other crew members, 6 Spheres 3 time the apparent size of the moon that were like red-hot metal followed the bomber to the southeast over the Adriatic. When they appeared to move toward the aircraft, pilot took evasive action. (Letter and report Form, Andy Robert's collection)

N - 1945.03.26 - About 1100 hours, Germany, over "Happy Valley" in the Ruhr.

RAF Spitfire XI, # PL 966, 541 Squadron, pilot, Pink sphere about 3 feet in diameter first seen ahead, then slow passed object on the starboard side. Aircraft speed was 360mph. Object appeared to be doing 340 mph. (Letter, Logbook extract, Andy Roberts Collection.)

N - 1945.03.26 - Night, Near Iwo Jima.

P-61-B, 549th Night Fighter Squadron (NFS), Gunner saw lights on an airborne object that followed them through turns. P-61 gave chase, with a slight radar contact. Object pulled out of sight. (549th NFS Unit History for March 1945)

N - 1945.03.27 - Night, Near Iwo Jima.

P-61-B, 549th NFS, night patrol saw lighted object similar to the one encountered on the previous night. (549th NFS Unit History for March 1945)

N - 1945.04.03 - Night, Japan

B-29 formation, two orange balls of fire. One near IP and the other over the target appeared to come from the ground and then move even wtiht he B-29s along the flight paths. No explosions. (Report of Operation 3-4 April 1945, HQ 21st Bomber Command)

N - 1945.04.03, - 1813Z, Tokyo Bay area flying across the peninsula at land's end

B-29, heading 115 degs., 8000 feet, light observed following and closing on B-29 while gaining altitude. Ball of fire followed aircraft despite evasive maneuvers. Picked up on radar. Followed aircraft to about 25 to 30 miles beyond the coast over the ocean. (Report of Operation 3-4 April 1945, HQ 21st Bomber Command)

N - 1945.04.03, 1814Z - Tokyo Bay area.

B-29 heading 120 degs., 7000 feet ball of fire observed at 4 o'clock position following aircraft. Evasive action through clouds 3 time could not loose the object which had a phosphorescent glow. Stayed with B-29 for 5 minutes across Tokyo Bay after that it disappeared. (Report of Operation 3-4 April 1945, HQ 21st Bomber Command)

N - 1945.04.03, 1817Z - Near land's end Tokyo Bay.

B-29, 9000 feet, saw a ball of fire about the size of a basket ball. Evasive action not effective after following the aircraft for 6 minutes it turned back toward the coast. (One crew member thought he saw a navigation light on a wing.) (Report of Operation 3-4 April 1945, HQ 21st Bomber Command, 500th Bombardment Group History)

N - 1945.04.18 - about 0300 hours, 20 miles north of Iwo Jima.

P-61-B, 549th NFS, GCI (Ground Control Intercept) radar tracked a target at 18 to 8 miles almost immediately. P-61 gunner saw a yellowish light (like a star) approaching and losing altitude. AI contact was lost. Gunner saw another light, but no AI contact.(549th NFS Mission Reprot #4-27)

N - 1945.04.18 - between 0022 and 0415 hours (at end of patrol), near Iwo Jima.

P-61-B, 549th NFS, GCI radar made contact with target. Gunner reported reddish round light. Contact on radar showed two blips with evasive action and out distanced P-61. (549th NFS, Mission Report #4-28)

N - 1945.04.19 - About 0100 hours, Norway, off Kristansund.

RAF Halifax III, P5-K 297 Squadron, Gunner, starlight light over took aircraft from starboard side then appeared stationary on starboard beam. Disappeared to a pinpoint. (Report Form, Andy Robert's collection.)

N - 1945.05.15 - Night, Nogoya, Japan.

B-29, 444th Bomb Group, "The first sighting of a ball of fire' was made on this mission. (444th Bombardment Gourp history)

N - 1945.05.23 - Night, Tokyo, Japan.

B-29, 444th Bomb Group, "Three balls of fire' reported. (444th Bombardment Group history.)

N - 1945.05.27 - 1438Z to 1532Z.

B-29s, 40th Bomb Group, about 20 "balls of fire" sighted by the Group. (40th Bombardment Squadron history.)

N - 1945.07.12/13 - Night, Kawaski, Japan.
B-29, 315th Wing, Mission 267, large orange light phenomenon observed by one plane. (Report on Attack of 4 Cities, 12/12 July 1945, HQ 21st Bomber Command)

N - 1945.07.12/13 - Night Japan.

B-29, Orange light paralleling the path of enemy aircraft. Unable to determine if it was part of aircraft. (Report on Attack of 4 Cities, 12/13 July 1945, HQ 21st Bomber Command)

N - 1945.07.16/17 - Night near Numazu, Japan.

B-29, 58th Wing, Mission #271, ball of fire at 10,000 feet followed aircraft. Disappeared into smoke to the right of the B-29.(Mission 271-274 16/17 July 1945, HQ 21st Bomber Command)

N - 1945.07.16/17 - Night, near Numazu, Japan.

B-29, 58th Wing, 58th Wings, Mission #271 one light seen at 10,800 feet about 500 feet above B-29 and gaining. When within 500 feet of the B-29, the light turned right, went off and disappeared. (Intel Officer: sharp maneuvers do not support Baka theory.) (Mission 271-274 16/17 July 1945, HQ 21st Bomber Command)

N - 1945.07.16/17 - Night, Numazu, Japan.

B-29, 58th Wings, Mission #271, a red light at the 6 o'clock position. The light passed to the right of aircraft making sharp turns. B-29 crew received flak from the ground at this time. (Mission 271-274 16/17 July 1945, HQ 21st Bomber Command)

N - 1945.07.16/17 - Night, Oita, Japan.

B-29, 73rd Wing, Mission #272, a pulsating circular, red glow was reprot at 10,000 fet of the target at the 2 o'clock position. The light continued on a parallel course to the aircraft for 5 minutes it disappeared into a cloud. B-29.(Mission 271-274 16/17 July 1945, HQ 21st Bomber Command)


ACUFOE in 1946
 
N - 1946.09 -- USA, day, Rehoboth Beach, Delaware.

Private Pilot, encountered "flying mayonnaise jar" shaped UFOs. (Project Grudge: Bumble Bee Missiles Launched by John Hopkins University) (FBI files, Project Blue Book report summary, newspaper accounts)

N - 1946.10 -- USA, day, Rehoboth Beach, Delaware.

Private Pilot, encountered "flying mayonnaise jar" shaped UFOs (Project Grudge: Bumble Bee Missiles Launched by John Hopkins University) (FBI files, Project Blue Book report summary, newspaper accounts)

 
ACUFOE in 1947
N -1947 ---- Night, USA, Hanford, Washington

B-17 USAF pilot, pulsating cavorting lights maneuvered around aircraft for 20 minutes then flew off. (PJ47 Report, p125 (UFO Report 1977, p. 39)

N - 1947 --- Night, USA, Ardmore, Oklahoma.
AT-6 Trainer, USAF pilot, flashing red light caught up with aircraft, circled aircraft, and matched speed with plane for 20 minutes then flew away to S.(PJ47 122, (Ideal UFO Magazine #1, March 1978))

N - 07.04 - 1030 hours, east of Moscow, Idaho

Flying from Couer d'Alene to Lewiston, pilot and passenger both CAA officials. an object flying in a northerly direction on a regular course, but without a wavering, fluttery or bouncing movement. The object was slightly above the CAA officials' plane's 4000 feet altitude and was flying about 300 mph. (Astoria, OR, ASTORIAN BUDGET, 5 July 1947.)

N - 07.04 - Afternoon, USA, Nevada, between Tonopah and Austin.

Private Plane - 150 Voyager - pilot and passenger, 5 circular object brilliantly reflecting sunlight, aircraft at 10,000, UFOs below. Pilot could not catch UFOs. (PJ47, p 75, Elko, NV DAILY FREE PRESS 7 July.)

N - 07.06 - 1500 hours, USA, Colorado-Kansas border flying toward Bartleseville, OK

Private plane, 2 Phillips Petroleum pilots, at 10,000 feet saw UFOs come flying directly at them one after another for about 15 minutes. Nine in total. They appeared metallic and were revolving. (PJ47, p 84, Bartlesville, OK, DAILY
=========
BlackBerry
January 15

444th BG WWII "Foo Fighter" (UFO) sightings from official records

444th BG WWII "Foo Fighter" (UFO) sightings from official records

This is provided only for it’s historical information, not as an opinion or explanation of these events.

 1944.11.10 - daylight, Coast of Formosa just west of Okayama at 25,000 feet B-29(?), black dot seen to hang in the air without movement or explosion. It was smaller than a flak burst, and looked like an object rather than a cloud of smoke. (Weekly Intelligence Summary #11, 10 Nov 44, HQ, Eastern Air Command, South East Asia)
 1945.04.03 - Night, Japan
B-29 formation, two orange balls of fire. One near IP and the other over the target appeared to come from the ground and then move even wtiht he B-29s along the flight paths. No explosions. (Report of Operation 3-4 April 1945, HQ 21st Bomber Command)
 1945.04.03, - 1813Z, Tokyo Bay area flying across the peninsula at land's end
B-29, heading 115 degs., 8000 feet, light observed following and closing on B-29 while gaining altitude. Ball of fire followed aircraft despite evasive maneuvers. Picked up on radar. Followed aircraft to about 25 to 30 miles beyond the coast over the ocean. (Report of Operation 3-4 April 1945, HQ 21st Bomber Command)
 1945.04.03, 1814Z - Tokyo Bay area.
B-29 heading 120 degs., 7000 feet ball of fire observed at 4 o'clock position following aircraft. Evasive action through clouds 3 time could not loose the object which had a phosphorescent glow. Stayed with B-29 for 5 minutes across Tokyo Bay after that it disappeared. (Report of Operation 3-4 April 1945, HQ 21st Bomber Command)
 1945.05.15 - Night, Nogoya, Japan.
B-29, 444th Bomb Group, "The first sighting of a ball of fire' was made on this mission. (444th Bombardment Gourp history)
 1945.05.23 - Night, Tokyo, Japan.
B-29, 444th Bomb Group, "Three balls of fire' reported. (444th Bombardment Group history.)
 1945.07.12/13 - Night Japan.
B-29, Orange light paralleling the path of enemy aircraft. Unable to determine if it was part of aircraft. (Report on Attack of 4 Cities, 12/13 July 1945, HQ 21st Bomber Command)
 1945.07.16/17 - Night near Numazu, Japan.
B-29, 58th Wing, Mission #271, ball of fire at 10,000 feet followed aircraft. Disappeared into smoke to the right of the B-29.(Mission 271-274 16/17 July 1945, HQ 21st Bomber Command)
 1945.07.16/17 - Night, near Numazu, Japan.
B-29, 58th Wing, 58th Wings, Mission #271 one light seen at 10,800 feet about 500 feet above B-29 and gaining. When within 500 feet of the B-29, the light turned right, went off and disappeared. (Intel Officer: sharp maneuvers do not support Baka theory.) (Mission 271-274 16/17 July 1945, HQ 21st Bomber Command
 
1945.07.16/17 - Night, Numazu, Japan.
B-29, 58th Wings, Mission #271, a red light at the 6 o'clock position. The light passed to the right of aircraft making sharp turns. B-29 crew received flak from the ground at this time. (Mission 271-274 16/17 July 1945, HQ 21st Bomber Command)
 
The above information was taken from "Project 1947". If you would like to see the complete report, please visit http://www.project1947.com/acupdt.htm .
 

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BlackBerry
January 02

Iran Soon to Have Nuclear Weapon

Iran Soon to Have Nuclear Weapon

***********************

*** Mossad: Iran Soon to Have Nuclear Weapon ***

Iran will achieve "nuclear technology independence" within several months, the chief of Israel's Mossad spy agency has warned legislators.

Appearing before the Knesset's defense and foreign affairs committee to deliver his annual intelligence report, Meir Dagan also declared that Iran "will not stop with one nuclear bomb."

He said "technology independence" doesn't mean Tehran will actually have a nuclear device. But "it does mean they'll be able to enrich uranium with centrifuges," columnist Uri Dan writes in the New York Post.

"Building a bomb would only be a matter of time."

Said Dagan: "Iran will not be satisfied with producing fissionable material for one bomb but will continue to produce large quantities of such material for more bombs."

Yuval Steinitz, chairman of the Knesset committee, said: "Iran is capable of getting a bomb in a year or two. And if it does, there will be a new Middle East - black, dangerous and threatening the world over."

Dagan called for an intensification of international diplomatic pressure on Iran.

But Aharon Zeevi, Israel's chief of military intelligence, said the current lack of pressure can be blamed on the Europeans.

"I had meetings with senior officials in Europe," he told Uri Dan.

"And their position is, why should we fear Iran's nuclear weapons? After all, we lived under the nuclear threat after World War II.

"And besides, either you or the Americans will solve the problem."

Zeevi has said that a pre-emptive strike against Iran's nuclear facilities would be "difficult but not impossible."

But he told the Yediot Aharonot daily: "It is not the time nor place to talk about military action as the diplomatic route is still the order of the day."


************************

*** Steve Forbes: Action Against Iran Crucial ***

Former presidential candidate Steve Forbes has issued a dire warning: Iran's soon-to-be-successful push for nuclear weapons poses an "increasingly mortal threat to our safety."

Forbes, editor-in-chief of Forbes magazine, writes in his Fact and Comment column that Iran's looming nuclear capability is especially frightening because its new president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is "lethally delusional."

He is obsessed with the Mahdi, the expected Messiah of Muslim tradition, who is to return just before Judgment Day. Ahmadinejad believes he must prepare the way for his reappearance, according to Forbes.

The Iranian leader has also insisted that the Holocaust never occurred and that Israel should be wiped off the map.

Russia is attempting to convince Tehran not to go nuclear. But at the same time, Moscow recently agreed to sell Iran an advanced weapons system that can destroy incoming missiles and laser-guided bombs.

A nuclear Iran would be an "immense setback" in the war against Islamic fanaticism and could lead to an Iranian-encouraged overthrow of the Saudi monarchy, Forbes warns.

"Is military action the only alternative?" he writes. "Yes, unless somehow internal Iranian pressures (the mullahs are despised by most Iranians), as well as international pressures, force either a fundamental change in this fascist theocracy or its actual overthrow ...

"But time is running short."

Forbes laments that the Bush administration has done next to nothing to persuade the American public about the possible need for stern measures.

But he concludes: "Thankfully President Ahmadinejad's consistent public statements on the 'myth' of the Holocaust will make clear to not only us but also the European masses and elites that this regime poses an increasingly mortal threat to our safety, that European-style diplomacy (a mechanism for doing nothing) is no longer viable."




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BlackBerry
December 12

The Birth of the Dead

Posted Saturday December 10, 2005 7:00 AM EST

The Birth of the Dead

A youthful jerry garcia on a 1966 poster.
A youthful Jerry Garcia on a 1966 poster.

In the coming decades they would play to more people than any performing act in history, but at their first concert the musicians who two weeks earlier had been called the Warlocks had trouble persuading the promoter even to put their new name on the bill. Bill Graham had invited them to play December 10, 1965, at the Fillmore auditorium in San Francisco, but their new name “gave him the creeps.” The group begged and placated, and finally Graham relented. The new name went on the posters, with “formerly the Warlocks” in place of a group photo. So it was that, exactly 40 years ago today, the newly dubbed Grateful Dead played the first of more than 3,000 concerts.

Their original incarnation was as Mother McCree’s Uptown Jug Champions, formed in San Francisco in 1963 by the banjoist Jerry Garcia, guitarist Bob Weir, and keyboardist and harmonica player Ron “Pigpen” McKernan. They “played anyplace that would hire a jug band,” Garcia said, “which was almost no place, and that’s the whole reason we finally got into electric stuff.” Adding a bassist, Phil Lesh, and a drummer, Bill Kreutzmann, they became the Warlocks. A new sound came with the new name, as Garcia recalled: “The minute we get electric instruments it’s a rock & roll band.”

Meanwhile the author Ken Kesey started building their fan base. In 1959, as a Stanford graduate student in need of extra cash, he had signed up to ingest hallucinogens in an experiment at the Veterans Hospital in nearby Menlo Park. While he wrote One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, in the early sixties, he continued the experiments independently, joined by a growing number of friends. The group became the Merry Pranksters, and their La Honda, California, commune and drug-fueled public displays formed the model for sixties counterculture. On November 27, 1965, they threw the first acid test, an all-night house party with light shows, tape-loop sound effects, and plenty of LSD, which had not yet been outlawed. The Warlocks, who first met Kesey through a friend of Lesh’s, attended, and as Lesh later wrote, ”It ended up being just like every other acid party—people getting high and doing pretty much what they wanted. . . . The energy was too spread out. It seemed as though some kind of focus was needed to transform diffuse individual energies into coherent collectives. Clearly, music was the answer.”

So when partygoers conducted their experiments at the next acid test, on December 4, the group provided the soundtrack. They became Kesey’s house band, and the Pranksters, the original hippies, now became the original Deadheads. The acid tests formed the blueprint for all future Dead shows. The line between performer and audience, star and event, swirled like everything seemed to at Kesey’s parties and remained indistinct even as the band morphed into a professional touring act. Free-form improvisation, through which the band glorified the experience of the present moment that was so vivid at the tests, became the Dead’s signature.

A few weeks earlier, Lesh, browsing the racks at a local record store, had found a single by another group called the Warlocks. Never quite satisfied with the name anyway, the group brainstormed for days in search of a new one. Kreutzmann suggested “the Vikings,” Weir “His Own Sweet Advocates,” Garcia “Mythical Ethical Icicle Tricycle.” None stuck until the band pored over Lesh’s reference books one afternoon. While Lesh paged through Bartlett’s, Garcia opened the Funk & Wagnall’s dictionary and poked his finger at a random spot. “Everything else on the page went blank,” he recalled, “diffuse, just sorta oozed away, and there was GRATEFUL DEAD, big black letters edged all around in gold, man, blasting out at me, such a stunning combination.” Lesh remembers “jumping up and down, shouting, ‘That’s it! That’s it!’” Others were not so pleased. Weir found it morbid, and of course Bill Graham thought it creepy enough to put off his Fillmore audience.

Bill Graham was wrong. By 9:30 p.m. on December 10, the ticket line circled the block two abreast. The show, which also featured the Jefferson Airplane (as well as acts destined for less eminence, like the Great Society and the Mystery Trend), was a benefit to raise money for the leftist, avant-garde San Francisco Mime Troupe. The Dead played in a hall decorated at either end with signs bearing the word “Love” in three-foot letters. Owsley Stanley, the chemist who almost single-handedly supplied San Francisco with acid in the mid-1960s, sat in the audience. The Dead “scared me to death,” he said. “Garcia’s guitar terrified me. I had never before heard that much power. That much thought. That much emotion. I thought to myself, ‘These guys could be bigger than the Beatles.’” Rock Scully, the band’s future manager, concurred: “We’d never seen anybody play like that before. Jerry was lifting the roof. Of course, we were slightly stoned.” Scully and his friends weren’t alone. “I’m absolutely sure Jerry was tripping, too,” Scully said. “Every now and then, he’d look down at his guitar and I though he was seeing some kind of monster. He was all surprised. Looking over at his hand down the neck of his guitar like ‘Wait a minute. Where is the end of this thing?’”

The concert raised $6,000 for the mime troupe; more important, it brought the Grateful Dead to its first public audience. In 1966, as the Dead played to increasingly packed houses, the Hollywood record industry caught on to the growing San Francisco music scene. The Dead recorded numerous albums with Warner Bros., but they would never have much success capturing the energy of their live shows on vinyl. Their phobia of formula and suspicion of rigidity and routine made for far-out concerts but translated on records, like their 1967 self-title debut, 1969 Aoxomoxoa, and 1970 Workingman’s Dead and American Beauty as inexpert, if charming, imprecision. Garcia explained it in characteristically self-deprecating terms. “We’re really not that good, I mean star kinda good or big-selling records good.” However, their looseness did not betray a lack of ability. When pushed, as by David Crosby on his first solo album and select Crosby, Stills, and Nash tracks, the Dead revealed themselves to be a tight, note-perfect session band. The music was, at its best, an amalgam of Americana, blending Garcia’s bluegrass background, McKernan’s affinity for Chicago blues, Lesh’s classical training, and their collective love of John Coltrane.

In the seventies, as the hippie scene went out of style, the Dead faded into obscurity. Their nonstop tours, though consistently attended, drew almost no attention from the press; their few studio albums failed to make a ripple on the charts. To critics, their output lacked the dexterity of groups with similar influences, like the blues and bluegrass acolytes Led Zeppelin or the super-competent, jazz-trained Steely Dan, but also eschewed the exciting aggression of the equally messy, elaborately iconoclastic punk movement. They were written off as dinosaurs. Garcia was fine with that. “I feel pretty good about . . . stopping being part of that mainstream and just kinda fallin’ back so that we can continue to relate to our audience in a groovy, intelligent way.”

But while the mainstream ignored them, the Dead continued to pick up new fans. By the late seventies the Deadheads were turning into a phenomenon in their own right, a family of unreconstructed and newly turned-on hippies who followed the band across the country to party at each of its concerts. By the time the Dead scored their first top-ten single, “Touch of Grey,” in 1987, the Deadheads were as much a part of the band’s mystique as was their music. Alone among their contemporaries the Dead carried the torch of the sixties continuously through the next decades.

As other bands and artists broke up, died, feuded, or transformed into slick pop acts, the Dead did what they always had. They played. Garcia’s death from a heart attack on August 9, 1995, meant that the last show of that summer’s tour, at Chicago’s Soldier Field a month before, would be the last ever. It came five months and one day shy of 30 years after the first. In addition to the band’s three decades of music, there’s one more thing Deadheads can be grateful for. They aren’t Mythical Ethical Icicle Tricycleheads.

Christine Gibson is a former editor at American Heritage magazine.

November 21

Fool Me Twice

Fool Me Twice: Anti-Bush Bias From New Orleans To Baghdad
By Rod D. Martin
November 21, 2005

"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." -- Old adage

"Well, there you go again." -- Ronald Reagan

There they go indeed. And shame on anyone for believing them anymore.

I mean, of course, the elite liberal media, who will stop at nothing to topple the Bush presidency. Not even if it means manipulating the news about war and natural disasters.

Remember all those New Orleans horror stories, the ones that could've given Attila the Hun goosebumps?

An Editor & Publisher headline that screamed, "Mortuary Director Tells Local Paper 40,000 Could Be Lost in Hurricane"?

CNN reporting shots being fired at rescue helicopters?

CNN's Paula Zahn decrying "bands of rapists, going block to block?"

Oprah Winfrey telling her wide-eyed audience that "gangs banded together and had more ammunition, at times, than the police?"

Eager-beaver media scribes dutifully reporting Randall Robinson's lunatic claims of people "eating corpses to survive?"

It turns out they were all just that: stories. Lies. Lies which could have been shown false had Shepherd Smith just bothered to walk into the Superdome.

And when this hysteria was found to be just lies, that should have become the biggest story of all.

But it didn't.

So most Americans are left with the initial story -- the false one. The one which tanked George Bush's poll numbers.

So it is with Iraq.

From the day America moved to oust Saddam, the usual suspects -- from CBS to the New York Times -- eagerly predicted calamity and searched fervently for any signs of it.

Yet virtually all their prognostications failed to materialize.

Casualties? Minimal. Oil fields? Protected. Saddam attacking Israel? Never happened. Post-war refugee problems? Nope. Iraqis weren't leaving; they were returning in droves to their Saddam-free homeland.

And since Saddam's removal, guess which part of Iraq has garnered virtually all of the Bush-bashing media's attention?

Why, the Sunni Triangle, of course, Saddam's home turf.

Never mind that nearly everywhere else, there is no "insurgency." Never mind that the "insurgency" is doomed so long as virtually everybody but a handful of Sunnis opposes it.

Never mind that across Iraq, the progress is overwhelming, as Americans and Iraqis together build schools, enhance security, empower civil society, and ensure a brighter economic and political future.

Never mind that most of the fighting -- and dying -- for the new, free Iraq is being done by patriotic Iraqis. And never mind that the endlessly-reported U.S. death toll is half the rate even of U.S. training deaths each year.

Never mind that literally millions of Iraqis -- alone in the Arab world -- have twice stood up to terrorist bullies, voting first to elect new leaders and just recently to ratify their new constitution. And that includes 105,000 Iraqis in Fallujah, once the heart of the insurgency, who turned out last month to vote on the new constitution.

Oh, and never mind that before each of these elections, al Qaeda proclaimed loudly that merely holding the election -- regardless of outcome -- would be a "crushing defeat" for their cause.

To the left-leaning media moguls and those in their employ, none of this matters, because all of it vindicates President Bush.

Which is partly why so little of it gets reported.

How bad is the Bush-bashing bias?

In a survey of 1,388 Iraq stories on the evening news programs of ABC, CBS, and NBC from January through September of this year, the Media Research Center found that 61% were negative or pessimistic, while only 15% were positive or optimistic, a four-to-one ratio.

Fully two out of every five stories featured specific terrorist attacks.

But it gets worse.

There were 79 stories about alleged wrongdoing by our soldiers, while only eight stories highlighted their obvious heroism and only nine featured their unending acts of compassion and generosity.

And even when the topic was Iraqi democracy -- which al Qaeda itself defines as victory for us and "crushing" for them -- negative stories outnumbered positive ones by a 124-92 margin.

In other words, heads we win, tails you lose.

And speaking of loss, there's no question that this grossly biased reporting has helped embolden the foreign terrorists and homegrown Saddamites, and caused needless loss of American and Iraqi lives.

One need not be cynical to ask whether that wasn't the idea in the first place.

Either way, one thing is crystal clear: When a media story concerns President Bush or his pro-American, pro-democracy policies, expect what you got in New Orleans: outright lies at every turn.

Fool us once, shame on them. Fool us twice -- well, you know the rest.

-----------

Rod D. Martin is Founder and Chairman of Vanguard PAC. A former policy director to Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee and Special Counsel to PayPal.com Founder Peter Thiel, he is a member of the Board of Governors of the Council for National Policy, Executive Vice President of the National Federation of Republican Assemblies (NFRA), and editor and co-author of Thank You President Bush, the definitive handbook to the second term.

--------------------

 

September 06

Frankenstein Monster


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Sent from remote
August 27

A thought simply spoken is an idea clearly stated


I concurrently and proportionately estimate that we must facilitate and incorporate a domain account membership approximating the size of the population of Dallas (county, not city) to accomodate the multitudinous quantification of proliferating multiple access necessitation for the documented required productivity and functionality or therefore otherwise incur multiplural dibilitating transenterprise multidisciplinary systems failures with personnel exacerbations concurrently coupled and aggregated with malificent objective and temporal extemporanities and shortcomings for which there is no Enterprise Domain Object Provisioning Documentation or other clarifications for enlightenment or educational benefit of the provisioning practitioners commonly known as the Infrastructure, Support and Operations Step Children with a Mission.

Thanks for your support!




--------------------------
Sent from remote
August 19

Cave of the Patriarchs

 

The Cave of the Patriarchs is considered to be the spiritual center of the ancient city of Hebron. It lies in the southwest part of the West Bank, in the heart of ancient Judea. It is called in Hebrew Me-arat Hamachpelah (מערת המכפלה): "The Cave of the 'double' caves or tombs", because (according to Jewish tradition) its hidden twin caves are considered to be the burial place of four "pairs" of important Biblical couples: (1) Adam and Eve; (2) Abraham and Sarah; (3) Isaac and Rebekah; (4) Jacob and Leah.

The caves are contained within the Ibrahimi Mosque (or Mosque of Abraham, Arabic: مسجد ابراهيمي)

The facade and minarets of the Ibrahimi Mosque. The Cave of the Patriarchs is contained inside the building.
Enlarge
The facade and minarets of the Ibrahimi Mosque. The Cave of the Patriarchs is contained inside the building.

Book of Genesis

It is mentioned as having been purchased by the Hebrew patriarch Abraham as a burial plot for his family after his wife Sarah dies (Book of Genesis, 23 [1] (http://bible.ort.org/books/pentd2.asp?ACTION=displaypage&amp;BOOK=1&amp;CHAPTER=23)): "He bought a plot of land near Hebron from Ephron the Hittite, the Cave of Mechpelah, for 400 shekels of silver. There he buried his wife Sarah." Later Abraham himself, Isaac and Rebekah, then Jacob and Leah were buried there. (Rachel was buried near Bethlehem). This site is now known as the Tomb of the Patriarchs or Tomb of the Patriarchs and Matriarchs and is a shrine for both Jews and Muslims.

Judaism

Judaism considers the spot to be sacred, as well as the first material purchase of real estate by the Hebrew Abraham in the Land of Canaan (the "Promised Land"). According to Jewish tradition, four Biblical and primal patriarchal couples mentioned in the Book of Genesis are buried there:

Islam

It is known to Muslims as the Ibrahimi Mosque ("Abraham Mosque") as Abraham is a revered prophet of Islam. Today, the city of Hebron is populated mostly by Palestinian Arab Muslims. A large structure built by Herod the Great is on the site, and after the Islamic conquest it became a mosque under the control of the Muslim Waqf, a traditional "trust" holding land for Islamic religious purposes. During the Crusades when Christians were in control of the site, it was a church.

Status

Both Judaism and Islam agree that entombed within are the Biblical and Quranic patriarchs (Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob) as well as three matriarchs (Sarah, Rebekah, and Leah). Their graves are made inaccessible by the cenotaphs that cover them.

The cave is the second holiest site in Judaism (after the Temple Mount) and holds considerable theological significance to Islam and Christianity as well.

Conflict

When the city was under the control of the Ottoman Turks, Jews were forbidden to enter and were only permitted to pray outside a few steps up the entering stairway.

When Israel captured the area during the 1967 Six Day War, it is said that then Israeli Defense Minister Moshe Dayan was given the keys and was supposedly shown the actual secret hidden passageways that lead to the below-ground tombs.

In 1994, militant Jewish fundamentalist Baruch Goldstein killed 29 Palestinian Muslims at prayer at the site. Jews in the city have also been subject to numerous attacks, the most prominent among them being the Riots in Palestine of 1929, in which Arab rioters killed 67 Jews throughout the city. The Wye River Accords provided a temporary status agreement for the site and Hebron itself.

Current situation

Since the eruption of the Intifada, the site has allegedly been the subject of many attacks, directed towards Jews in prayer. The Israel Defense Forces has surrounded the site with soldiers and forbidden Palestinians from entering the area.

External links


This entry is from Wikipedia, the leading user-contributed encyclopedia. It may not have been reviewed by professional editors (see full disclaimer)

Mentioned In
Cave of the Patriarchs is mentioned in the following topics:
Machpelah (geographical area, West Bank) Rebekah
Baruch Marzel Baruch Goldstein
Binyamin Ze'ev Kahane independent terrorist actor
Leah Hebron (city, West Bank)
Kach and Kahane Chai Kahanism
More>
 

The Land Of Goshen

The Land Of Goshen

And so it was that the Israelites entered the land of Goshen, where they would remain for over 400 years until Moses led them out on their Wilderness Journey to the promised land.

    "Joseph [see Coat Of Many Colors] said to his brothers and to his father's household, "I will go up and tell Pharaoh, and will say to him, 'My brothers [see Children of Jacob] and my father's household, who were in the land of Canaan, have come to me; and the men are shepherds, for they have been keepers of cattle; and they have brought their flocks, and their herds, and all that they have.' When Pharaoh calls you, and says, 'What is your occupation?' you shall say, 'Your servants have been keepers of cattle from our youth even until now, both we and our fathers,' in order that you may dwell in the land of Goshen; for every Shepherd is an abomination to the Egyptians." So Joseph went in and told Pharaoh, "My father and my brothers, with their flocks and herds and all that they possess, have come from the land of Canaan; they are now in the land of Goshen." (Genesis 46:31-47:1 RSV)

The Land Of Goshen

The region of Goshen is located in northeastern Egypt, in the The Delta of the Nile River, where it empties into the Mediterranean Sea. The Sinai Peninsula is just to the east. To the south are the famous Pyramids, and the Valley of The Kings, where many Mummies have been discovered.

Fact Finder: How many Israelites entered Egypt at the time of Joseph?
Exodus 1:1-5
See also Growth Of A Nation

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Growth Of A Nation

Growth Of A Nation

"These are the names of the sons of Israel [see Children of Jacob] who came to Egypt with Jacob, each with his household: Reuben, Simeon, Levi, and Judah, Issachar, Zebulun, and Benjamin, Dan and Naphtali, Gad and Asher. All the offspring of Jacob were seventy persons; Joseph was already in Egypt." (Exodus 1:1-5 RSV)

The Nile River And so Jacob, whose name God had changed to Israel, entered Egypt. All of the Israelites that existed in the world at the time were in that small group. They would remain there for 430 years (Exodus 12:40-41) until the Exodus.

Despite their eventual hardships, the Israelites had large families and grew very numerous:

    "But the descendants of Israel were fruitful and increased greatly; they multiplied and grew exceedingly strong; so that the land was filled with them." (Exodus 1:7 RSV).

Although there is no record of the precise number that left Egypt in the Exodus, a military census taken not long after listed the number of men 20 years of age and older who could serve in the army as 603,550 (Exodus 38:26). From that number, the total Israelite population of that time has been estimated at approximately 2 to 3 million.

How can a small group become a nation of millions in just over 4 centuries? A simple bit of arithmetic shows that it was easily possible. If the average Israelite family consisted of 4 children by the time the parents were 27 years old (the Bible record shows that families then were actually much larger), that would provide for a doubling of the population every 27 years (2 children to replace the parents, and 2 children to account for population growth). 430 years divided by 27 years is about 15 generations during the time Israel was in Egypt.

Beginning with the original 70 people, growth of the Israelite nation using our factors above would have been:

  • 140 people after 27 years
  • 280 people after 54 years
  • 560 people after 81 years
  • 1,120 people after 108 years
  • 2,240 people after 135 years
  • 4,480 people after 162 years
  • 8,960 people after 189 years
  • 17,920 people after 216 years
  • 35,840 people after 243 years
  • 71,680 people after 270 years
  • 143,360 people after 297 years
  • 286,720 people after 324 years
  • 573,440 people after 351 years
  • 1,146,880 people after 378 years
  • 2,293,760 people after 405 years

The example is of course a rough estimate, but it does prove the point that the Israelites could easily have increased to a great number in the given time.

Fact Finder: What route did the Israelites take during their time in the wilderness?
See Wilderness Journey

Stairway To Heaven

Stairway To Heaven

"Jacob left Beersheba and set out for Haran. When he reached a certain place, he stopped for the night because the sun had set. Taking one of the stones there, he put it under his head and lay down to sleep. He had a dream in which he saw a stairway resting on the earth, with its top reaching to heaven, and the angels of God were ascending and descending on it. There above it stood The Lord, and He said, "I Am The Lord, The God of your father Abraham and The God of Isaac. I will give you and your descendants the land on which you are lying. Your descendants will be like the dust of the earth, and you will spread out to the west and to the east, to the north and to the south. All peoples on earth will be blessed through you and your offspring. I Am with you and will watch over you wherever you go, and I will bring you back to this land." (Genesis 28:10-15)

Bethel Map One of the most well-known stories of the Bible is Jacob's "stairway to heaven" dream (also known as "Jacob's ladder"). It occurred while Jacob was fleeing the wrath of Esau, his brother. Esau was the older, and therefore would have been foremost in line for their father Isaac's inheritance. Esau however did not place great value upon his right, at least until it was too late. Esau sold his birthright to Jacob for that famous bowl of stew, and after having done so, he actually despised it (Genesis 25:27-34). Later, Jacob deceived his father into giving him the blessing as well. (Genesis 27:1-40)

Rebekah, the mother of Jacob and Esau, had taken part in Jacob's misleading scheme to obtain the blessing (Genesis 27:5-10), and after the deed was done, it was she who sent Jacob away to live with her brother Laban (where he married his cousins Rachel and Leah, and had the 12 sons from whom came the 12 tribes of Israel) to keep Esau from killing him. That's why he was traveling near Bethel (just north of Jerusalem in what is today the "West Bank" area - see map) where the stairway dream took place.

But what did the dream mean?

The first part was a direct statement by God that Jacob's receiving the blessing and birthright was God's will. It had been part of the plan all along - it was not something that Jacob and Rebekah, of themselves, brought about. God's covenant with Abraham (Genesis 22:15-18), that carried on through his son Isaac, would now continue through Jacob - who God renamed Israel (Genesis 35:10).

God then promised that the land of Israel was to be rightfully occupied by Jacob's seed - fulfilled today by the descendants of Jacob's son Judah, who are now commonly called Jews. God also revealed that the entire world would benefit from the descendants of Jacob, which they indeed have through the other tribes - the so-called "Lost Ten Tribes" of Israel.

The dream had an ultimate messianic application - the very reason for it. Jesus Christ was humanly descended from Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. He is our stairway to heaven that will provide us with the way to get from down here to up there. He directly referred to Himself as the true object of Jacob's dream -

"He then added, "I tell you the truth, you will see heaven open, and the angels of God ascending and descending on the Son of Man." (John 1:51)

Fact Finder: Is Jesus Christ the only way to salvation?
Acts 4:12

June 27

Re: Virus Outbreak Monitor Alert

Aaaaiiii Curumba!!! Holy Chihuahua!!!

There are millions of the little devils just laying around, laying in
wait for us, disposed and eager for an ambush - ready to leap out and
attack; prepared, organized, arranged, motivated and highly geared up
for battle. Little hellions! The Bastards!

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